Riding Wild Donkeys
30th November 2013
In starting off this journey of mine, one aspect I knew I needed guidance with was the business side of running my own company. Ive always found these areas really challenging and struggled to find a purposeful connection with marketing and numbers and spreadsheets. But through a friend I was referred to this fantastic, lady named Leonie Dawson her soul centred approach to creating an amazing life and business has opened my eyes and made me so excited to venture along this path.
One of her e-books I have been working with is called “The Cowgirls guide to riding wild donkeys” and its all about GETTING THINGS DONE!
I spent a lot of time procrastinating and not feeling good, smart or talented enough to start this blog or even start this website and venture out on my own, teaching and practicing. My thoughts went something like this it’s pretty daunting writing a blog your hearts right out there for everyone to see, will any one read it, …will I have anything to say? what if nobody likes me? will others like it? The answer was yes, definitely, maybe, possibly, hmmm probably not, no! dam it I suck, I hate blogs, screw it I’m not doing it!.…that was the process of my thought patterns before I started this because I feared I just wasn’t enough. The definition of procrastination is to delay or put things off. But, I think the true definition of procrastination should be FEAR of not being good ENOUGH because deep down I think this is the reason why we all put things off.
What Leonie Dawson’s guide to riding wild donkeys is teaching me though, is that ART and CREATION does NOT have to be pretty, it doesn’t have to have all the boxes ticked and doesn’t necessarily have to have everyone like it, for there will always be someone who just doesn’t get it or it doesn’t ring true for them- and that’s cool!
But what it does call for is a true representation of a soul effort where fun and freedom is PLACED and then is SET FREE. All the best creations are those which have flowed freely from the artists heart without the monkey mind judging and manipulating every thought. This notion really made me think …what have I put off in fear of not being perfect? I’ve found that fear is very multi layered, it is definitely in our make up as human beings for a reason, that fight or flight response that is ingrained in us is important in some instances, let’s say your being chased by an over bearing magpie whilst walking through the park in the middle of spring I say run for your life let that fear and adrenaline sink in and get the hell outta there!!!
The type of fear I am talking about is the one that stops us from our passions, our souls purposes in life, our dharma, our reason for being here. In our life on this earth there will always be something you may fear, fear of heights fear of abandonment, fear of being happy, or fear of failure. But then if fear is just part of the mind then why can’t we just stop thinking about it? Why does it take over our actions, our self esteem and our moving forward in life ? Learning to detach your self from it seems to be the biggest obstacle as fear itself seems to be a breeding ground for more fear. It’s kinda like the being stuck between a rock and a hard place type situation, trying to move either one just doesn’t work.
What I have been working with to remedy this, is learning to coexist with fear, acknowledge that it’s apart of life but move forward with love and kindness and let your experience flow from here. This way CREATION can come from a place of honesty and freedom and fear can just ride along side of you, but some how now feels much much smaller and less intimidating. There just comes that time when you have to let go of control in order to let that light and joy in, let the creation have a voice and be uninhibited! Peoples expectations do not matter, and its none of your business what others think- you can not change there minds. I think creating anything falters when the focus is not on the freedom it brings but when it is directed to the cages we put up, the art then becomes something we dread. For example how daunting would it be painting, taking a yoga class, performing in a play, or even just standing in a line at the grocery store if you believe people are going to judge the way you perform or create these activities and more then likely with fear in control what your really thinking is they are judging you.
To help with this I think the idea here is to allow the art to be what it is —A TRUE EXPRESSION OF YOUR HEART AND SOUL and nothing more. As soon as your fingers leave that paintbrush, as soon as you step onto your yoga mat, as soon as you give those words a life of there own in that play or any other type of creative process what is created has a SOUL OF ITS OWN and you have done your beautiful work as its creator, nothing more can be asked of you
BELIEVE in the joy and freedom creating brings to you and those around you and most importantly it’s perfectly, amazingly courageously fine to be you, in all your quirky, unique, rockin’ rollin’, wild, quiet, strong self. Your heart speaks the loudest, trust it feel safe with it and keep creating from it and have fun riding those wild donkeys!!
Yes, I will console any creature before me that is not laughing or full of passion for their art or life; for laughing and passion – beauty and joy – is our hearts truth, all else is labor and foreign to the soul.
~ Saint Francis of Assisi~